I'd Tell You I Love You But Then I'd Have to Kill You

LS 5623 Book Review
Adventure, Sports & Mystery

Bibliography
Carter, Allly. 2006. I'D TELL YOU I LOVE YOU BUT THEN I'D HAVE TO KILL YOU. New York : Hyperion Books for Children. ISBN 9781423100041.

Plot Summary
Cammie is a little different that most teen-aged girls her high school is all girls school that has classes in hand-to-hand combat, data encryption, and chemical warfare; affectionately known among it's students as spy school. Cammie's first hint that this year is going to be different is the new Covert Operations teacher seems to designated her as class screw up. The real problems start when Cammie accidentally meets a boy from in-town who thinks her school is a boarding school for rich heiresses.

Critical Analysis
The juxtaposition of teenagers and covert operations makes this adventure novel an interesting read. Carter has done an excellent job of adding a voice of realism to her characters. Cammie, our protagonist talks about when the girls who know how to strap on ammo can't figure out how to accessorize, "Courtney was borrowing earrings; Anna was trying on jackets; and I wasn't sure if I would ever feel safe going into hostile territory with them again." This voice that rings of truth is evident again when talking about boys, "I half wished he'd charge me again or draw a knife or start speaking in Japanese or something... but he didn't, and so I didn't know what to do. He walked. So I walked." Carter has captured the feeling of awkwardness that all teenage girls experience throughout the books' dialog. Carter further uses details of the school to make the improbable feel possible; details of how the school changes when visitors show up: motto of the school spins around and is replaced by more mundane buy your yearbook now posters, trophies that are for hand-to-hand combat are replaced with swim meet trophies, and statues of former spies are whisked into broom closets. This book has a fun light feel that will make for a go-to book for readers that are looking for something different. Audiofile agrees, "How Cammie and crew pass a dangerous final exam and how Cammie balances spying and her romance with a normal guy make for an offbeat, imaginative title."

One of the drawbacks of this book is that for an adventure story it lacks a little in the adventure part. There is no villain to root against and even if passing your final exam is different at spy school, readers will not view this as a truly dangerous event. School Library Journal echos this lack of action, "The story is short on suspense. The stakes never seem very high since there are no real villains, and the cutesy dialogue quickly becomes grating. However, the novel has been optioned for a film and will likely attract readers who enjoy lighthearted, frothy tales and squeaky-clean romances." Another drawback of the book is that with such strong female characterization, male readers will be unlikely to identify with the characters.

Overall a fun, worthy read that may expose some teenage female readers to a new genre of book.

Connections
* Have students compare and contrast public school to boarding school.
* Have students complete a journal entry about why they are attending school. Cammie is attending school to be a spy, what are the students' future plans.